Git Along, Lil Incarnations, Git Along

476. PRETENDERS, "Boots of Chinese Plastic"
Produced by Steve Bing and the Pretenders; written by Chrissie Hynde
2008 Did not make pop charts

477. TALKING HEADS, "Road to Nowhere"
Produced by Talking Heads; written by David Byrne, Chris Frantz, Jerry Harrison, and Tina Weymouth
1985 Did not make pop charts

Who says Asian philosophy has to be couched in Asian-derived music? Why not try your Buddhism deep-fried?

Chrissie Hynde performs what is definitely the coolest song ever written about reincarnation (not to mention the karmic implications of globalization) in a style that sounds as if the track was laid down in Sun Studios circa 1956. As in all her best songs, Hynde here is vulnerable and formidable all at once--which is why, to review, she is without question one of the four or five most breathtaking women in the world.

The Heads' track obviously starts out more stately, but it still ain't George Harrison. As usual with Heads songs, you can always depend on Frantz and Weymouth to keep the foundation of the track rolling and lively. Significantly, this is one of only two tracks on Little Creatures for which all four members of the band share songwriting credit. Here, Frantz and Weymouth earn their keep by nudging the Scottish-born Byrne to get in touch with his inner Rowdy Yates and turn the song into the liveliest cattle drive for inner peace ever attempted. And then he shrieks like a strung-out bald eagle on crank. Never has zen been this lively.

One theory of inner peace involves shutting oneself down and personal isolation, but these songs suggest two livelier, more social paths to enlightenment. And isn't it preferable for Anglo-Americans to cast their philosophical discoveries in their own vernacular rather than hearing them poach the music of other cultures? (Yes, Sting, I am calling you out.)

No Time for Elocution! For the Love of G-d, DANCE!!!

460. MADONNA w/JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE, "4 Minutes"
Produced by Cutee-B, Vincent DiPasquale, Junkie XL, Eric Kupper, & Bob Sinclair; written by Hills, Madonna, Mosley, & Timberlake
Warner Bros. 463228 2008 Billboard: # 3

I always knew Madonna was a superhero--and here she is once again coming to save the day! With J.T. the Boy Wonder chanting her name in the background!! This, as you know, helps her channel her powers. Give her a Peron-worthy mob of adoring fans all chanting her name, and she could move the Houses of Parliament to the other side of the Thames simply with her iron will.

This is one of those songs for which I would not want to see the official lyrics even if they had them. For example, is she saying "you intervention" or "U.N. invention"? I know it's probably the former, but given the global stakes here it definitely could be the latter.

N.B.: Depending on which mix of this single you listen to, the world is either saved in 3 minutes and 52 seconds or 4 minutes and 10 seconds. In other words, 4 minutes was a pretty good guesstimate there, Madge. Shalom.

A Bentley (a bentley a bentley a bentley . . . )

891. THE KELLY AFFAIR, Be Your Own Pet
Produced by Steven McDonald, written by Be Your Own Pet
2008 Did not make pop charts--yet

This band is classified as "punk," but I haven’t known what that is since the Berlin Wall fell. If guitars and drums fast and loud, with deviant semi-ironic lyrics and sonic antecedents in surf music qualifies as punk, though, then I guess they are. Anyway, the glory of this song is that it is basically Beyond the Valley of the Dolls in three minutes. Personally, I could have used a circular narrative structure, but as an aficionado I do like the mention of a Bentley in the break. It's a nifty nifty song.