*Definitely* Not a Dweeb

165. THE OFFSPRING, "Self Esteem"
Produced by Thom Wilson; written by the Offspring
Golf 001 1994 Billboard: # 45

Yet another chapter in the continuing saga of loser protagonists in postmodern pop. I am particularly fond of this one, though, since it skewers in its oft-repeated title one of the most counterproductive post-hippie sociological concepts that the Donnie Darko generation had shoved down their throats while growing up.

As usual in Loser Pop, the listening experience is based in a double-edged irony. The (presumptively male) listener is supposed to identify with the narrator and feel superior to him at the same time. Unlike Beck's "Loser" et al, however, this lyric has a progression and a payoff. When the narrator gets to that last "little bit," we begin to realize that he may not be quite as dumb as we thought. Even if he's still far from boyfriend material.

Awww, Aren't Newlyweds So Cute?

734. NIRVANA, "Heart-Shaped Box"
Produced by Steve Albini; written by Kurt Cobain
Geffen 21849 1993 Did not make pop charts

735. NIRVANA, " All Apologies"
Produced by Steve Albini; written by Kurt Cobain
Geffen MVCG-13011 1994 Billboard: # 45
There they are: the Scott and Zelda of indie rock. God, they're both so pretty that you want it all to work out. It didn't, of course, but I at least wanted it to.

Both these singles are tracks off In Utero, my favorite Nirvana album, the one that proved you could be difficult and still write catchy songs. Both these songs are about Cobain and Love's marriage, although the first one refers to it so obscurely that many people never realized it. Personally, I think "Wait/Wait/I got a new complaint/Forever in debt to your priceless advice" should have been a tipoff to some kind of domestic squabble, but admittedly "I want to eat your cancer when it turns black" is such a great line that it could tend to draw your attention away from the submerged subject at hand. Charles Cross, however, confirmed in Heavier than Heaven, his superb biography of Cobain, that even the title of the song referred to a present that had passed between the couple and was usually kept at their bedside.

By contrast, the subject matter of "All Apologies" is unmistakable. You can't get much clearer than "I'm married/Buried." Yet Cobain widens his scope to include critics of all varieties, not just his resented spouse. Yes, he sounds at points like a selfish junkie who feels besieged, but I think he's still self-aware enough at this point to know how whiny he may come off. Sometimes he can be hysterically funny in this exaggerated pose, What more can I say?/Everyone is gay being a classic case in point.

For those who think Courtney Love doesn't know the meaning of restraint, I'd like to point out that to my knowledge she never replied to this song, which I certainly would have if my spouse had written it. And as time proved out, one major difference between the Fitzgeralds and the Cobains is that in the latter relationship, it was the woman who was the (moderately) sane one. Personally, of course, I wouldn't have wanted to be married to any of them--Scott, Zelda, Kurt, or Courtney.

Jolson Lives!

441. ROLLINS BAND, "Liar"
Produced by Theo VanRock; written by Rollins Band
Imago 25072 1994 Did not make pop charts

You know, nobody really gets Al Jolson anymore. I'm not saying he's my favorite entertainer or anything, just that nobody gets why he was so popular when he was. For the most part, his success wasn't about imitating African Americans, not the way that Gosden and Correll pathetically attempted to do so on Amos n Andy, not the way an earlier recording star like Arthur Collins did when he recorded what were at the time called "coon songs." Jolson recorded numbers that could be sung independent of perceived race, as witnessed by the fact that a good chunk of the songs that Judy Garland sang in her famous Carnegie Hall concert came out of the late singer's repertoire.

Live, Jolson did perform in blackface, but that wasn't always about the perceived imitation of African Americans for the most part. Jolson's kind of blackface derived from the effacement of African Americans, just as Godsen and Correll's came from a caricature of them. (Both kinds are racism--just pick your poison.) Jolson's blackface sprung from the widely shared white assumption that people with darker skin were more passionate, more in touch with their emotions. When Jolson put on the makeup, he felt it gave him license to indulge his emotions more, to almost break down, as he did every time he performed "Mammy" or "Dirty Hands, Dirty Face." Watching Jolson was not about having a jokey, fun time. It was about seeing if the runaway train would actually run off the tracks this time, the way it always threatened to.

Which brings me, finally, to Henry Rollins. Whatever this single is, it isn't punk. It's a little playlet, with choruses where the villain twirls his mustache in an aside to the audience as sweet Little Nell still suffers with no hope of being rescued by a strapping beau. Genderwise, Rollins is getting his cake and eating it too here, adopting a feminist critique of sexist behavior while still getting to act out the scene with an aggression I'm sure you didn't get to see in your Women's Studies class. Henry's just a little too into being the bad guy here, probably even more than he is into explaining exactly how other people should act. But the real thrill of the song, I think, is whether he's going to totally lose it. Actually losing it? That would be punk. Teetering on the edge of a breakdown for four minutes? That's Jolson--if he pumped iron.